Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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