Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
