Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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