HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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