I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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