You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
