Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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