last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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