The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
