grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
