yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
