I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
