You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
