Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
