YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
