i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
