glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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