I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
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