Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
