FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
