yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
