there's paper in my vomit.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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