I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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