Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
