I only kidnapped one of them. chill
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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