Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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