Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
