Pants 0. Shit 1.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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