just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
