he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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