Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
