Cold hands, warm shart.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I deserve this hangover.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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