Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
