I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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