Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Come on in and take your pants off
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