They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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