i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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