My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
