Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
