shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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