Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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