I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Nicole vs. Life
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
