Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I could make wine with my vomit
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
