You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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