Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
