No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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