I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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