I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
