Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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