I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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