she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
